Monday, August 1, 2005

To wonder...

My mind wonders! about what you say? oh..many things.

This past weekend was colorguard clinic (both saturday and sunday..blah). So needless to say, I'm burnt. I'll admit it, I'm an idiot. I didn't realize it was going to be as hot as it was. I assumed since the weather was supposed to be almost degrees less from the usual that it wouldn't be so bad. I was wrong! it hurts! But I'm not throwing myself a pity party.

I'm continue to wonder about some of the ways I am. I know that God has made me the way I am for a reason, but I wonder..why? What kind of character do I possess? I I supposed to change, no..that's probably not I supposed to use this or that quality..maybe not?! Who knows! My stubborn will, I'm sure I have that as a good thing and a bad thing...I guess learning when it's good and when it's not..would be first to figure out! I just cannot help myself! I find myself saying things or doing things that are the norm for me, and for my "qualities" I display...then five minutes later I feel like I need to be kicked in the butt for it. Am I cursed with a lover's heart? Am I cursed with blunt honesty? Am I cursed with a "real" personality?! I do not know, but I'd like to believe not. I just pray that God will show me what it is that He has for me, and the use for these qualities, as He sees fit. I feel so awkward, I feel so alone. I feel...forget it..

"...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. and hope does not dissapoint us..." - Romans 5:3-5


jasdye said...

'colorguard clinic'? like where they teach cub scouts how to hold and fold the flag?

is it a daylong affair? like a basketball clinic? or is it indoors and people, if they don't know how to present the flag come in, sign in and then get some learning, kind of like a health clinic?


Destiny said...

what the freak! You are totally thinking incorrectly! It's colorguard, as in marching band colorguard. For WVU! I spin flags, rifles and sabres..although not all at the same time! wow!

check it!


jasdye said...


is there a pic of you in there? or something remotely interesting or funny. 'cuz lord knows i don't wanna visit another appalachian university site (i'm kidding! wait, is liberty in appalachia?)

and you should spin them all at once. and then add a sabre-tooth tiger. and then fold the US flag correctly. without letting it touch the ground.

cuz you could get shot.

Destiny said... didn't just go there..darn you!

jasdye said...


was it the "'cuz you could get shot." line? they scared me to death with that one when i was in cub scouts. they had to shoot the poor color guard who dropped the flag and burn the flag, right then and there. his mommy and daddy were so disappointed. they just turned their heads when they cremated the boy along with the flag.

a sad, sad day.

i didn't want to do color guard no more.