My mind wonders! about what you say? oh..many things.
This past weekend was colorguard clinic (both saturday and sunday..blah). So needless to say, I'm burnt. I'll admit it, I'm an idiot. I didn't realize it was going to be as hot as it was. I assumed since the weather was supposed to be almost degrees less from the usual that it wouldn't be so bad. I was wrong! it hurts! But I'm not throwing myself a pity party.
I'm continue to wonder about some of the ways I am. I know that God has made me the way I am for a reason, but I wonder..why? What kind of character do I possess? I mean...am I supposed to change, no..that's probably not right..am I supposed to use this or that quality..maybe not?! Who knows! My stubborn will, I'm sure I have that as a good thing and a bad thing...I guess learning when it's good and when it's not..would be first to figure out! I just cannot help myself! I find myself saying things or doing things that are the norm for me, and for my "qualities" I display...then five minutes later I feel like I need to be kicked in the butt for it. Am I cursed with a lover's heart? Am I cursed with blunt honesty? Am I cursed with a "real" personality?! I do not know, but I'd like to believe not. I just pray that God will show me what it is that He has for me, and the use for these qualities, as He sees fit. I feel so awkward, I feel so alone. I feel...forget it..
"...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. and hope does not dissapoint us..." - Romans 5:3-5