Wednesday, October 26, 2005

A Consistent Lapse of Sanity...again!

So what's up! First off, props to those that tried my quiz, and boo to ya'll that didn't! It really wasn't that hard! :-)

So lately, it's been whoa...first off, there was this massive blizzard, which was like ahhmazing. It was actually pretty cool, until the trees started falling and breaking everywhere, and the people started skidding into ditches and then everyone was at a loss of power. I mean what?! Actually today I didn't have any power for a period of like 7 about drove me nuts. But the funny part was getting everything situated, I mean I was trying to figure out what we were gonna do with the food and where I was gonna get warmth, and it was just kind of entertaining. Then it was like..boom...we have power again! AWESOME! They, the electric company that is, told us it would be out until probably noon on Friday, so pretty sweet!

Other than that, I've been nonchalantly doing things. Which sucks, I'm not really enthralled in anything right now! This kind of irritates me. Mainly because it makes me think and wonder about things that I do not wanna think and wonder about...things that I've thought and wondered about for months and I really don't wanna let my mind roll around the ideas and thoughts of them, b/c they just drive me insane! I mean seriously, what?! but I don't know. I mean I just don't understand some things and some people, and I know I'm probably not supposed to or something like that, but I guess when part of me is in anyway involved in it, I tend to take it personally. (btw, in case you are wondering what this rant is about, do not assume someone has done something to tick me off or put me in the middle of some fiasco or something of sorts, this is not the case...just a case of...emotional breaking...or maybe just...hitting the wall that's barriered up, oh how I want to climb it). Anyways, on that note, I'm gonna go...get warm and get food...I'm hungry!!


Thursday, October 20, 2005

Do You Really Know Me??

It's quiz time, my friends.

Do you really know me? Here's some important and not-so-important questions pertaining to myself, that I would like to evaluate my friends and see how much you really know me. hmm...interesting!

1. What is my middle name?

2. what color is my eyes? Is there something significant about one of them? (asking this question would imply that there is, but do you know what it is?!)

3. how many brothers and/or sisters do I have?

4. what is my favorite cheesy saying? **you should know this**

5. who is one of my favorite male vocalist?

6. what is my favorite part of the music I listen to?

7. what would be the ideal job, in my eyes?

8. what would be my freak-show talent?

9. what is my favorite tv show?

10. what is one of my current favorite movies? (if you name one of the many, you still get the
credit...yeah i'm just that nice)

11. what is something I enjoy doing that not everyone knows about me? *oooh...tough
isn't really*

12. what is my favorite food?

13. who/what is my passion in life?

14. what country do I really really really really wanna visit?

and lastly,...

15. what is something of mine, that I wish everyone could see?

Good luck people!


Wednesday, October 19, 2005


I just wanted to relay a story to ya'll, b/c it absolutely shocks me! So, Jess Poe and I were hanging out last night, which I would have to say was absolutely amazing! b/c Jess Poe is just an amazing girl! ;-) we were hanging out and we decided to drive around town and just talk. We were at the four intersection on patteson, in front of the coliseum and the light turned green, so I started to go forward, and then suddenly...this car like comes upon my rear and rams into the back of my car. I was like oh my gosh, as our bodies like flung forward. I kind of spazzed out. So i went straight into the coliseum and sadly the guy who hit me did not. so i parked the car, still shaken and was just like sort of in a frantic mess..and jess was like it's okay it's okay..everything will be okay. So after we calmed down we decided to assess the damage. When we looked at the back bumper of my car, both of our jaws just dropped. There was nothing wrong with the rear end of my car. minus maybe like the smallest fraction of a scratch on my bumper, that was it. I looked at her and was like "you did feel that right?! I'm not just making it up." Jess was like yeah, he hit you pretty hard, i don't know why your car is not damaged. it was way weird, we just stood there for like 20 minutes and was like 'huh!'. it was really strange...but thank God..I mean seriously praise Jesus, cause that is the only explanation I can come up with.


Monday, October 17, 2005

Past originals!

The following are, of course, not yet titled:

A vast openness before me,
calling my name into the wild, untamed terrain.
Who is to be my voice in this space
that is too large for me to be heard?
How am I to know the way to go?
Everything looks so settled, unconsumed, untouched.
My Lord, You will show me the way
through this wooded abyss that
will not devour my soul.

The grip of passion instills in me a
desire to be filled by You.
The pierces, bruises, open sores that
bear a resemblance to life anew.
Anguish, pain, this all surround me entirely,...
To the extent of loss of hope? NEVER!
Enduring, believing, all that You have for me,...
Do otherwise? How could I ever!
You hold the barriers that shape
the romance of my life.
All in Your hands...the love, the happiness, the anger, and the strife.
Help me feel Your Presence near me!


Sunday, October 16, 2005

Sweet Victory!

So what's up?! This has been a sweeeeet weekend! Let me just tell ya!

So Thursday night, got to go to CRU, which was awesome! Got to hang out with some ahhmazing people. Then Friday I had to work, which wasn't the greatest, but wasn't all that bad. All I really did all morning was situate sweatshirts and hang them on the walls. Oh yeah and we had to pull in the freight order, which was just so exciting. After that I didn't have a whole lot to do, I had a few errands, then band. Which was awesomely cut short, b/c of the homecoming parade that night. The parade wasn't bad, but had it's ups. I mean I love my ahhmazing friends who cheered for all know who you are!! That was fun! After that I got to go to the Roadhouse for Greg's birthday and hang out with some more super fun people, that was enjoyable as well! Then i got to hang out at Amy's for the night before the game the next day! Now to the game...sweet game that is! Let me just tell started out sucking, I mean literally we were bored to tears almost...b/c i mean i could show ya the pics that we took of us just goofin' off b/c we were bored, that was at least until the 4th quarter. WVU vs. Louisville....down 24-7...8 minutes remaining in the fourth. WVU is able to bring it back and tie it up 24-24 with one minute remaining. Then leads to overtime!!! not just one, not just two, but triple overtime!!! where we finally take louisville 46-44, when we block their two point conversion. let me just say...wahoo!! and...I'll take that! it was awesome, so much super fun and ahhhmazing!! :-)
After all that was done, I then got to walk the roughly mile to mile and a half I'd say...back to my apartment...showered, and then kara and I had a victory starbucks visit! that was fun as well. I do suggest the pumpkin spice latte to anyone who would like to try it! then to top everything off, my mom and my sister came to visit extra sweet! and now i'm just updating you all on my life...are you glad to know this! :-)

on that note!! later yo!


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

what's up

hi! what's goin' on~! so right now i'm just setting here watching CSI and thinking about the loads of homework i've done a wonderful job of procrastinating and not doing for the past few weeks. i kind of wanna kick myself because of it. i'm falling into an apathetic state of mind. oh well i guess!

my mind is kind of tired anyway....the thought-processing has driven me close to my emotional edge. it's exhausting when you are trying to figure things out from the correct perspective..that of God's. i just wish i knew what He wanted in so many things. i firmly believe that no matter what His Will will come to pass, i guess i just fear being unworthy and insignificant. yeah, you are probably trying to figure out how to get unworthy and insignificant from me trying to figure out God's Will. but thus is the chaos of my mind.

oh my heart...there's so much in it right many things floating.

let me tell current favorite song (which is older, that I love) is..."hands in the air" by The Waiting.


Sunday, October 9, 2005


how 'bout that! So I just got back not long ago from fall retreat, and let me just say, God is ahhhmazing!!!

it was an awesome, awesome time of fellowship and brokenness. Which is so freeing! I cannot even get into all of it on here, but to know that God is working in the hearts of those close to me, is so wonderful. Including my own heart!! PRAISE HIM!


Monday, October 3, 2005

A War Within

hi all! I say 'all', but really it's only maybe like two people! hello there you two! :-)

Anyways, so lately my thought processing has been a little out of hand, I think. I've been thinking about this and that and everything in between. I'm reading Blue Like Jazz, which I'm sure Jason would I right?! Anyways, it's a great book, awesome read. The author, I believe, does a good job of being blatantly honest. Which I love!!! I mean I know we have to be cautious and think of others and such, but sometimes, the truth just needs to be told, don't dilute it by making it sound "better"...what can sound better than the truth! I mean I may think I wanna hear what I wanna hear, but if it's not the truth, there's no weight to it, so it doesn't hold...

anyways..i've also been contemplating some life changes and such as that. graduation...almost around the corner, yet further away than i sometimes give it credit for. what am I doing? I mean I war within myself on this stuff. I can hear myself beating against me to figure things out, to figure out what it is that God is calling me to, but I can hear myself just as much saying "do not look too far into the future, do not lose sight of the present, enjoy each day and trust God in leading you minute by minute, instead of life cycle by life cycle." and so much of me depnds on that thought processing and much of me gets anxious about the unknown. I think one of the most interesting parts of it all, is sometimes I feel I (somewhat) have it all figured out. I get these amazingly deep thoughts on life, love, happiness and all that jazz...and yet, I still feel I don't know what to do in pertaining to life, love, happiness and all that jazz. and I'm just as guilty as the next person of things I get heated about...which irritates me further. my analytical mind will one day drive me into the ground.

for instance...I was thinking about this whole, knowing what God has for me upon graduation. and where he's leading me. cause I grew up around people that were very nonchalant about where God was taking them in life. I mean I loved it, they had a blind faith approach. I mean if they would come up to me and be like 'okay, next month my wife and I are moving to africa to feed the hungry, we've been praying about it and firmly believe that's where God is leading us."I was like whoa...i mean what's goin' on...but totally awesome and enthralled, I wanted that!! I didn't necessarily want to be called to missions in africa, I just wanted an abrupt call from God being like...wait, this is what's up! and then there were those people that for years were like, i'm called to this and this is what i'm gonna do with my the waiting process begins. and for some reason I would get infuriated. I felt so strongly that that would lose sight of this present time. they were so enthralled by their future calling, that right now was just a "waiting period"...I would rather focus on where God is calling me in the next 5 minutes, there where God is calling me in the next 5 years. and i'm just as guilty of both.

I know God has a ministry for me, but I'm still not sure of what it is. I know my passions, I know what I want in life, I know where God grabs me and just puts me in place...sometimes...but do I know what it is God is directly purposing me...not quite I feel it is great things...most assuredly YES. So my period of waiting, deliberating, and figuring things out, I'll try and focus on where God wants me in the next 5 minutes!

have a good one, and if the rapture comes before we talk again, I'll see ya soon!!