Thursday, September 29, 2005

la la la...

Singing along with the voices in my head...

My thoughts right now are wide...and yet narrow. I have so much going through my head, it's craziness!!

I'm thinking about graduation, and suddenly decided to start sending my resume to various places, how fun is that! I probably won't get much response, but hey, at least I feel a little better for attempting, right?! So I'm thinking about what I want to do, with my life and just what I want to do in general right now!

I really really really wanna do something fun for myself. I know that sounds extremely selfish and is constantly convicting me, but I wanna be enthralled by the beauty of God. I wanna be swept up into something amazing (I know I already am, I just wanna feel it). I wanna go to Italy. I know this is fairly random, but it's true. And the way my mind works, is that I think about how soon I need to go or what-have-you, before it's too late and I'm stuck in the 9-5 rut (which I hope to never really get "stuck" in). So yeah, I really wanna take that trip...really really wanna! I also wanna learn sign language, as I said in a previous post, and I wanna learn the piano. Have you ever thought about being in a certain fantasy realm so-to-speak. Early I was thinking about how amazing and just beautiful it would feel to be setting in front of a grand piano, in a dark room with a single candle for light, playing the most amazing music and pouring my soul to God in the process. I do believe that is why I want to play the piano. Too bad, I have no musical ability and cannot read music (thanks for trying Kara). I have a deep desire to learn the piano though..i mean it' whoa! I've also been thinking about what kind of a job I would be happy in...this sometimes upsets me, cause I fear I will not be happy in the working realm, but then I think that is where I am most prosperous and I feel that is where God is calling me, and using me...I we ever no for sure?! Also, when I think of this "dream job"...I think of how unreachable it least immediately. I feel as if it will takes years to get to that point, and I fear those years previous to achieving the said goal....okay enough mind will continue to mull through everything...*sigh*


1 comment:

Jen said...

Ah Destiny, this is Jen Hooper again. Just checkin' up on your blog. What goes on in your head and in your life is none of my business, but if I might, could I offer a piece of advice and encouragement?

I have found myself in a similar rut recently, thinking that perhaps my BIGGEST dreams, the ones that mean the most to me, are unreachable. But just remember something...God is bigger than any of your dreams and any of the obstacles standing in the way of making them a reality. Think of it like this...If your "dream job" and the highest goals you set for yourself didn't seem impossible sometimes, would you appreciate them nearly as much when things fall into place? Who the heck would want to trust in a God who could only do the "possible"? Hang in there, keep putting your faith in God, and let Him lead you. Nothing is unreachable if you will do that.

I know you already know these things, but sometimes when things seem all jumbled in your head, it's nice to hear them from someone else.